M and V Life So Far: honoring my mama on my big three-oh

this year, for the first time, i decided it was most appropriate to honor my mom on my thirtieth birthday.

i wanted her to know that i value this day and that it would not exist if it wasn't for her.

i gifted her beautiful flowers and a small gift (which didn't come in the mail on time and i had to print out a picture of it! ugh, usps!)

below is the poem and the thoughts i shared with her.

...

Mama, I wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t for you.

I wouldn’t have breath if you didn’t push to what probably felt like your death.

I wouldn’t know kisses and wouldn’t know love if you didn’t share what you received from your God above.

I wouldn’t know Mexican waters, vacations and fun if you decided to always stay away from the sun.

I wouldn’t know style, accessories and décor if you simply didn’t care what you wore.

I wouldn’t have a job or an education if you thought I would do well serving at a gas station.

I wouldn’t know the value of a dollar if you always gave me whatever my heart desired.

I wouldn’t know marriage and how to stay strong if it wasn’t for you and dad’s love to stay together this long.

I wouldn’t know God if it wasn’t for you and all the things I’ve mentioned would always seem too few.

Mama, today, I’m 30. I don’t even know what that means.

But lets all just be real and say that, “if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be me.”

I want to thank you for bringing me into this world. Thank you for carrying me, nurturing me and doing what you knew was best for me. I value that you wanted a better life for your family and decided to take so many risks and move to somewhere unknown and unfamiliar – because of that we are all so blessed. I know that every baby and child is different and difficult in their own way and I’m thankful that even though I cried, and didn’t eat, and didn’t let you sleep, and didn’t grow girly hair until I was four you still decided I was someone to take joy in. Thank you for being so strong during that difficult time of the car accident. We don’t why it happened but I do know that God took that situation of doom and death and perfected, sculpted and refined us both to something we were not before. I think we all, as a family, grew so much during those times and that year and I thank you for never blaming me or faulting me.

I understand now, because I’m married, that the greatest gift you could give your children is a good, healthy and God-centered marriage. I appreciate today that I have a great example to look up to. It’s not something you sat down and explained to me or forced me into; but living for God and serving and honoring God with your life was the biggest life lesson for me. And today, I have an amazing husband that I know is here purely from both your prayers. I know that we are where we are in our life because your sole desire was for me to have a Godly life. I thank you for that.

From you I have learned that: it’s not wise to share my clothes with friends (they hardly ever come back the same, if they even come back!) I should always bring a small gift if I am going to someone’s house. Dinner does not always need to have 20 sides and desserts – Dad taught me that bread with marmoladka (jam) and sour cream equals dessert. My purse should match my shoes – I don’t know if I agree with that one! When I didn’t know what to do about a boy, you told me to pray. Presentation of the food is just as important. The two big “M’s” are Marshalls and Macy’s.

Through you, I know God. And out of everything I could thank you for today – the biggest thanks is for raising me in a family and in a home that honors, believes and serves God – because still today, above life, above husbands, and houses and things, my biggest desire is to love and serve the only God I know. I will take that example more than any other and do my best to give it to our children one day too.